Accepting Rejection and Refusal
We all face rejection at one point in our lives - whether it's the rejection of business proposals by colleagues, questioning of ideas by family members or even teasing of interesting stories by friends.
Have you ever been hurt by unintentional rejection? How did you deal with the situation?
In this blog, we will share some useful tips on how to handle rejection.
When Do We Feel Most Hurt by Rejection?
Are we more sensitive to rejection because of trauma from the past? Or even associate words of rejection with derogatory connotations?
We often define ourselves by other’s words, thus making us feel disappointed whenever we are rejected. If this becomes habitual, then we will be bound to this stressful label.
At Soul Barn, we can use our preferred name to introduce ourselves to let go of any prior expectations in order to start fresh - whether that’s learning something new about ourselves or the world.
Remember, don’t be too harsh on yourself! Acknowledge the emotions at the moment and slowly tune into your inner peace.
Rejection Is Not Our Fault
Disappointment is normal, let’s acknowledge it and not be quick to dismiss ourselves. A “rejection” is a choice made by the other under some circumstances - it is a rejection of matter, not ourselves as individuals.
When someone rejects our suggestion, he or she may have considered other circumstances at hand such as the current mental state, environment, or other factors. If we unconditionally accept everything in our path, they will be overwhelmingly exhausting even if they are all good things.
Understanding rejection is a choice, not reflective of whether we are good or bad, even if the outcome is not within our expectations. Treat it as an unexpected surprise!
Rejection as a habit
This is a common occurance where different people’s backgrounds shape their natural response as “habitual rejection”. Such people usually ask a series of questions to carefully verify and untie their inner doubts. When encountering new events or unfamiliar matters, these people will take their time to understand and accept these novelties.
People might mistake a series of questions as doubts and suspicions. But under close examination, this is their way of protecting themselves. Practice patience and understanding when encountering such people at work or everyday life. Don’t rush for an answer and allow space and time for them to respond.
Practicing High Emotional Intelligence
If someone rejects you, does it stem from an emotional outbreak?
When faced with extreme negative emotion, be sure to keep our distance and protect ourselves. We can’t control how other people will react nor talk at the best timing. What we can do is exercise patience and understanding towards others.
Other people's emotions are not our responsibility. How they react and treat others is reflective of their character, not if we are good or bad. Do not be self-dismissive in this situation!
Focus on Benefits of Rejection
Another door will open if the outcome is not what we had expected. In my past experience, I once messed up a job interview and started doubting my abilities and qualifications. It was only after that I found out that the position I was interviewing for was heavily competitive. Because of that interview, I gave up on opportunities of similar positions and accepted a relatively rare position. In hindsight, the position back then does not allow such creative freedom that is available in my position now. This experience made me realize that rejection will come with other bountiful opportunities that are even better than before.
If you are still stuck in rejection, pick up a pen and a piece of paper and recount a specific time when you were rejected. Write down the feeling at the moment and ask yourself: “What is my feeling now? Is it still as strong as before? Or has it toned down a lot more?” Then, think if the experience has only brought negatives or if there are positives that followed as well? Jot all of them down and practice this exercise whenever you face rejection to slowly be more accustomed to it.
What if I Am Not Good Enough?
Whenever we feel inadequate, look at ourselves from a third person perspective to practice self awareness. If there are areas that need improvement, list out remedies for self-improvement or seek advice from a trusted friend or family member.
Lastly, sometimes the only reason you are rejected is because you are uniquely you. It is completely normal because each person’s unique differences create a community that is diverse and more interesting!
At Soul Barn, we embrace our own uniqueness because we encourage everyone to be weird and quirky. Don’t seek validation from others and be unapologetically you!
About the Author
Alma enjoys music, science, and creative things.
She enjoys hiking with her family, or trying out new recipes in the kitchenon the weekends.
Recently she’s started practicing Qi Gong and Tai Chi.
Currently seeking exciting outside the box experiences.
Article translate by Victor Su
